love is a familiar , love is a devil

lets start , once upon a time , a few months ago , i fell in love .and there was laughing , funny breaths and happiness . there was much rejoicing . and then , SHUT ! over . gone . death . completely cut off . Disconnected . ohh its hurt . i talked to god .whether I believed in him or not . and i said thank you .over and over . again and again .i couldnt believe it was real . ehm did he feel wut i felt ?i have to believe he did .if i didnt it would be so hard to breathe . so hard to get up in de morning . so hard to be . no one will be him . i'm scared . i'm so scared .wut if it is real ? wut if never ? wut if i'm right ? do u ever wonder , do u ever ask urself ? can i live without u ? can i open my eyes ? im afraid to .there is a feeling . u know it .it is gone .
a glance , a smile , a touch , i feel desperate . i feel alone so much out there .but i only want to hear one thing , not sure wut .but i will knoe . if i ever get de chance , i will stretch out my fingers , grasp it tightly , and never let it go ! but till then , i will be here . to hear a voice , my heart stop .

but last day , he says ' i love you ' to me. i feel as though i had a pistol pointed at my head . wut can anybody rep under such conditions but that which the pistol-holder requires ? for sure , iloveyoutoo . but y do you say you love me , if you are only going to leave me ? say i love you and mean it , syg . dont just you say it cause you can . i miss you even more than i could have believed and i was prepared to miss you a good deal . coz each moment of a happy lovers hour like you and me is worth an age of dull and common life .

i believed that where there is love , there is God also ;)